# 31 Go to a movie by myself 1/20/12

I have been divorced for 17 years now, longer than I was married. Despite that  I have always had trouble walking into certain places by myself; restaurants, bars, movie theaters, church, to name a few.  They seem to be "couple" places.  Or at least a place that someone my age should walk in with a significant other.  Even church, walking in alone bothers me.  I don't know why it should, I always went alone when I was married.  I don't know that I will ever get over the uncomfortable feeling.  To face my fears I decided while writing this list that I should go to the movies by myself.  There have been many movies over the years that I have wanted to go to, but didn't because I had no one to go with.  Some movies are so much better in the theater with surround sound. 
The movie that I chose was "Breaking Dawn, part 1".  I have the other three movies and two of the three I waited to see them until the DVD came out.  It was playing at the State Theater here in town.  The State Theater is commonly known around here as the 'cheap seats'.  The movies are older, but the price for a Friday night movie is only $3.50.  I decided to give myself the entire experience so I got a water and a small popcorn.  It was really weird sitting there by myself waiting for the movie to start.  It felt like everyone was looking at me....why is she alone?  All in my mind, right?
The movie was pretty good.  The book is always better in my experience.  Which to I prefer Jacob or Edward?  I am team Jacob all the way!  The books did a better job of describing the physical attributes of a vampire and a werewolf.  Edward is hard, cold, and can read minds.  Jacob is warm, fuzzy, and loyal.  My thoughts would not be intruded on or twisted out of context.  Besides I like hairy chests!
I think I will be less hesitant to go to a movie by myself next time.  It is fun to go out to a movie once in a while.  I do like to be able to pause when there is an interruption.  But there are less interruptions at a theater.

2012 The beginning of a New Year

New beginnings are sometimes scary and some times a relief.  Or they can be both at the same time.  The beginning of this new year seems to have both of those qualities.  The year 2012 will hold some big changes for me.  I have made an effort to put old hurts and old habits behind me.  It is a relief to leave them in the past.  Both of my sons are getting married this year, I will be adding two new daughters.  At the end of the year my daughter will be graduating from college, all three of my kids will be college graduates and out on their own.  With all of this in mind I set out to make a list of New Year's Resolutions.  Most of them are things that I have been working on already, I just want to step them up a notch.  I realize that I am a work in progress and that I am not perfect.  I just want to make myself better. 

2012 New Years Resolutions

1.  Don't be "THAT" girl.  You know... the girl that every one hates or talks about.  This includes: not gossiping, not overly flirty, apologize when wrong, pretty much treat people the way I want to be treated.  I do this one most of the time, I just want to do it more.

2.  Go on a date.  It's okay you can laugh at this one.  It has been a year and a half since I was in a relationship.  I need to stop being so comfortable in my rut and get out there and talk to people.  I very much doubt that Mr. Right or even Mr. Right-Now  is going to show up on my doorstep.  I need to get outside of my comfort zone.

3.  Take care of my body, which means eating right and exercising.  I have many good years left in me.  I want to be able to enjoy them doing the things I love.  I can start feeling the limitations of an older body.  To be able to go and do when I am 70, I need to take care of what I have now before it is too late.

4.  Forgive and forget, that includes forgiving myself.

5.  Play less games on the computer.  I waste so much time playing games on facebook.  Just think of all the fun things I could be doing instead.

That is my list.  They are very achievable goals.  I hope to review them once a week to make sure that I am still on track.  Thanks for reading my blog in 2011.  And I wish you a very blessed and prosperous New Year!!

# 75 Read the King James Version of the Bible 12/29/2011

To start this goal I went on google search and found www.biblestudytools.com.  I knew that I would need a plan.  The plan is set up so that you will read the Bible in a year.  It has you read from three different books every day.  I have read the bible (Revised Standard Version) before, from Genesis to Revelation.  That was about 10 years ago and it took me 8 months. In comparing the two I like the RSV better.  It is the wording, "thou" and "thy" just sound like they should be there.  I do like that the KJV has everything that Jesus says in red lettering.  I don't know if I will read the entire Bible again, maybe in ten years I will feel the need.  I will definitely pick a different translation.  I feel that it is good to look at the same thing in a different light.

I have my favorite passages:  Deuteronomy 31:6  "Be strong and of good courage, do not fear or be in dread of them:  for it is the Lord your God who goes with you; he will not fail you or forsake you."  Joshua 1:9 and Hebrews 13:5 say the same thing.  These verses have gotten me through very tough times.  I could barely function after my divorce and some days repeating these verses was the only thing that kept me going.  Years have passed since then, but I still come back to these when I am feel like I am facing an impossible task.  It helps to know that I am not alone.

I hope that you have some sort of safe harbor to retreat to when problems seem to overwhelm you.  I am not one to push religious views on someone else.  I have had people try and make me believe or do things that they believe in but I don't...it is not a good feeling.  I would, however, be glad to share with you my church, my beliefs, and my thoughts on God  in a private discussion if you would like.